Miss Tess

January 19, 2009, 9:47 am
Filed under: inspiration | Tags: , , , , ,

What started out with my demonstrating how one of my coworkers wore her cardigan (around her neck as a big shawl/cravat/cape) turned into a cardigan cravat at launched a small infatuation with them.

The post cardigan cravat turned into the silk blouse cravat:

Jacob the Rabbit

and morphed into the “length of fabric bought in haste at walmart pre-burning man” cravat:

Mr. Blue

I know you can’t really see the detail but they looked wonderful but didn’t do so well when they moved around (CURSE THEM! jk) and had funny lumps where they shouldn’t have them. So my next mission is to make a simple cravat, which is just a long rectangle of fabric. The mastery here is in the different ways to tie it, the design is simple (unless my 1 minute of research is completely faulty which is entirely possible) but the possibilities are endless. I then want to move onto something a little more sculptural that you won’t have to tie but will have snaps or something to secure it and keep it from shifting during important tea parties. I suppose if you don’t tie it yourself it won’t be a cravat any longer but we’ll just ignore that little detail.

Here’s a great illustration of different cravat styles. It’s a bit satirical of dandies but it still has some useful ideas:


I’ve stayed up far past my bedtime so no more cravat pictures. Imagine, if you will, the biggest and most cartoonish and/or garish cravat and that’s what I’m hoping to make. Stay tuned, I know you’re on the edge of your seat!


Fake Fruit Anyone??
July 12, 2008, 3:39 am
Filed under: Bananas, businessy stuff, Cats, obsession, want | Tags: , , , , ,

This is going to be short and sweet (and totally x-posted to my other blogs). I really should be sleeping but instead I’m dwelling and thinking of new projects.

Several months ago I took this picture:

365 Doing Isabella Blow Proud

And I have it in my head that I must make a real grbaha out of fake bananas. So that I can wear it. Or have it. Or whatever.  So then I started searching online for fake fruits…and the cheapest I found were on ebay, but I really don’t need to spend 50 dollars on a ridiculous amount of fake fruit.

SOooo….my question to you, the peoples of the internet, is do you have any faux fruit laying around? Bananas would be the most awesome (I have a fixation on them) but any fruit would do.  I can trade, or pay shipping, or work out some sort of agreement. I’d just rather go for the trade/barter route since I’m supposed to be saving my monies for things that are necessities. Boo responsibility, but yay internet for PUTTING PEOPLE TOGETHER. People who don’t want fake fruit and those who do.

And now for something completely different, I got my picture in the paper! Looking crazy, as usual:

Miss Tess in the paper!!

Hurray!! I’m so excited!! I’m as equally as excited for the press as Maxine is (insert emotion here) about riding her bicycle backwards:

Maxine strikes again

Confusion? Bewilderment? Who knows. It’s funny.

So, in closing, cats are funny, Tess looks crazy in photographs, and fake fruit is desired by me for crafts. That is all.  Be excellent to each other


Carlie and the Mystery Purse
July 10, 2008, 2:09 pm
Filed under: Cats, just silly, video | Tags: , , , ,

Man on man, I was going through my emails today and found this 1 million year old email from my sister, Carlie, with this cute video:

This is Maxine, she likes boxes, tutus, and being inside things she isn’t supposed to be in. I love her. Thanks Carlie for the great video, and thank Thunderbird for organizing my emails in a weird way today and helping me dig up things I’d long since forgotten!!

You know what they say. . .
June 14, 2008, 1:15 pm
Filed under: Pictures by Tess | Tags: , ,

When life gives you butterflies, make lemonade. I mean, wear them on your head.

365 Butterfly Head

My long time friend Becca sent these to me unaware with my obsession. I’ve been dying for butterflies since seeing a ridiculous hat by Philip Treacy on the Alexander McQueen runway, more or less a helmet full of fake butterflies. Of course my town does not have such frivolous items as butterflies so I was left pining. But now, no more!

I’ll be back to posting on monday. I go heat exhaustion in Atlanta, then my internet was broken for 4 days. I nearly lost it.

Despite it all…
May 25, 2008, 6:54 pm
Filed under: Pictures by Tess | Tags: , , , , ,

I manged to get a little bit of work done. Voila, le blue and pink tutu for my friend Jennoit.

365 Blue and Pink Tutu for you!

I’m amazed I didn’t sew through my finger! During the photo shoot I almost passed out, oi!

Kind of Like my Day
May 25, 2008, 2:27 pm
Filed under: video | Tags: , , , , ,

This is kind of like what today and the past 2 have been like, minus the lsd, military uniform, and fits of hysterical laughter:

This is my third day of an on again off again fever so I have the attention span of a gnat, and the intellectual proficiency…of a soldier on lsd.  Peace out, dudes. Have a happy memorial day.

4 Steps to Pink Brows
May 24, 2008, 8:35 am
Filed under: Pictures by Tess | Tags: , , , ,

Pre-pink brow tips: Leave all self respect, self consciousness, and taste at the door. Let us begin.

The 4 Steps to Pink Brows

1. Apply bleach. If you have dark brows use a toner to remove the red. That’s why the bleach is that yucky grey color.
2. After desired lift is reached, grimace at yourself in the mirror. Feel confident in that fact that you were correct when you said you’d look horrible bald, even though this is just your brows.
3. Apply dye. If you are cautious consider using some sort of barrier on your skin such as vaseline. If you are me, just do it. I mixed my two hair colors together to get a medium/vivid pink.
4. After dye is dry (or you are bored, or you just feel like washing it off) Wash it off. If you did not use vaseline, scrub brow vigorously. Pluck eyebrows into a decent shape. Now that you’ve dyed your brow all those blond hairs are now pink and you look like you have wooky brows.

I’m not sure about how I feel with them yet, they are kinda bright! I felt that way about the hair, though, so I’m guessing once I’m used to it I’ll be fine.  I’m certainly the only person in town with pink brows, that’s for sure.